Should you struggle to make it work when it isn’t working?

struggle-1271657_1280The Struggle is Real

Achieving your goals isn’t easy; in fact, sometimes it is an absolute struggle.  Often, people set goals that they fail to meet.

There are many reasons why people struggle to achieve their goals.   Sometimes,  people don’t know how to create and follow a step-by-step plan for to attain their goals.   Other times, they don’t know how to deal with stuff that may get in the way.  Or, they sometimes simply give up too easily.

Let’s face it, it is easy to hit roadblocks on the journey to achieving your goals.

Is the Universe Testing Me?

I feel like, sometimes, the universe tests us.   (In all honesty, I personally feel like it is testing me a lot lately.)

It presents obstacles to see if we really want to achieve the goal that we said that we wanted so badly.

Sometimes, the obstacle brings out our “stubborn side.”  It causes us to dig deeper and determine that we want it so badly that we won’t give up.  We persevere.  We stay the course, and we fight, whether it be for the promotion that we want, the relationship that we want, or the last ten pounds that we want to lose.  In these situations, we know that, not only will we fight, we will win.

Other times, the obstacle helps us to reflect and change our strategy towards meeting our goal.   Desire to attain the goal stays the same, but the reflection that occurs thanks to the struggle helps us to see our situation through a fresh lens that affirms the direction that we need to go in order to meet our goals.   We learn that there are often many paths to the same destination, and that each of us as individuals can pursue whatever path is most effective for them.

However, other times, we encounter an obstacle, struggle, and give up.

Why do We Give up?

There are many reasons that people give up on achieving their goals.

Sometimes, the obstacles that the universe presents show us that we really didn’t want to achieve our goal as badly as we thought that we did.   We give up simply because it we learn that it wasn’t really that important to us.Is the universe testing me?

Sometimes, we realize that the goal that we set was flawed, and that we should have been more thoughtful before initially setting the goal.    That is, we realize that the promotion we thought that we wanted involves too many hours away from our family, or the man who we thought was perfect for us wasn’t as wonderful as we first thought, etc.

Sometimes, we give up on the goal because it wasn’t our really our goal. We realize that we initially set the goal because someone else thought that it would be great for you to achieve this goal.  For instance, maybe your coworker thought you would be perfect for the promotion but your really didn’t want the new job?  Or, maybe your mother thought that it would be a good idea for you to get married before your next milestone birthday?    Basically, you realize that you are struggling with the goal because the goal wasn’t set from your deepest dreams and aspirations.

 

It’s the Gray Matter Matter Between Our Ears

Other times, we give up because of the gray matter between our ears.   That is, we begin to think that we can’t really achieve what we wanted.   We tell ourselves that it is too hard, or too unlikely, that we will ever achieve our goal.   Achieving the goal may be difficult, or scary, to achieve; so instead of continuing the pursuit of our dream, we lose confidence in our ability to reach the goal, and give up.

Are you Lying to Yourself?

Sometimes, we give up on the goal because we believe the excuses that we tell ourselves.

But we are often lying to ourselves, either consciously or unconsciously.

We tell ourselves things like:

  • We don’t have enough time to write the book that we always wanted to write,
  • We are too old to meet the man of our dreams
  • We aren’t smart enough to go back to school
  • We aren’t qualified enough to pursue the career of our dreams
  • We aren’t attractive enough to date the handsome bachelor that we see at the gym
  • etc.

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Sometimes, we lie for self-preservation.  We tell ourselves lies to make us feel better so we don’t have to face the truth of the situation.   In these cases, the truth hurts so much that we don’t want to face it.  We don’t want to face that we didn’t get the job because  we weren’t qualified, or the relationship didn’t work out like we hoped because the man didn’t like us as much we initially believed that he did.

Instead of facing the truth of the situation, we allow our doubts and fears overtake us;  we convince ourselves that our goal isn’t as important as we initially claimed.

Attaining our goal is not easy; it involves hard work.  Often, getting to our goals also involves something new, which is also scary.  So we are lying to ourselves because it is the easier path, and FACING THE TRUTH IS SOMETIMES SCARY. 

We tell ourselves that we didn’t really want the job, that we didn’t really like the guy, that we didn’t need the promotion, etc..

In other words, we lie to ourselves because it is easier than facing the truth.  We decide that it is easier to make an excuse than it is to admit the truth; we tried, and we didn’t achieve our goal.

BUT, if we are honest with ourselves, we admit that we did really want to achieve the goal and fulfill our dream; we really wanted the guy, the job, the promotion, etc. But, we hit an obstacle and/or got scared, and gave up on achieving our dream.

 

Was it just not meant to be?

It’s often hard to know when you should “keep the faith” and continue the pursuit of your goals.

After all, let’s face it; sometimes, regardless of how well you plan and work on your goals, you will not always get THAT guy, THAT job, THAT promotion.   Sometimes, we have to accept that THAT job, THAT guy, or THAT promotion weren’t really meant for us.

But is completely giving up on your goals the best decision?

No, not when you really want it.

You don’t have to completely give up your goal because of an obstacle.  When you struggle and fall, it is best to get back up, rather than give up.  Most of the time, we tell ourselves excuses in order to avoid pursuing our goals; we often give up to soon.

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But instead of giving up, we should reflect on the situation and try to use the obstacle as a lesson along our life path.   We should take the opportunity to ask if the route that we chose is really the only path to achieving your goal.  We need to consider if there maybe is an alternate path that you didn’t consider before that will get you to the same destination.

For instance, most of us aspire to find that special someone, to happily travel along the path of life.  Sometimes, we get so fixated on another person that we feel like they are our only option to achieving the goal.    Instead, we need to consider that they are a learning experience on your way to to person who will help you to meet your goal.

Or, maybe that job opening was your dream job, and you didn’t get it.  But, that doesn’t mean you can find your dream job.  Use the experience as an opportunity to regroup and seek another job that will truly be your dream job.

 

I DARE YOU!

Do you have a goal that you want to achieve, but struggle and need help and support to achieve it?  If you do, I invite you to join my FREE 30 Day Goals Challenge.

In this challenge, you will work with me and many other motivated individuals to achieve one goal.

It begins on September 22nd, which is both the first day of fall and my birthday.

To sign up, simply enter your name and email at this link.  (You can also visit settinggoalsthatgetresults.com/challenge for more information.

I am so excited for this challenge to begin!

We all know that together, we can accomplish more than alone.

 

Say it isn’t so! Mercury is in Retrograde

Off My Normal Course

I haven’t been myself the last few days.   Something just hasn’t been right.  I haven’t been able to focus.  I have been extra sensitive.  It seems as though the little daily annoyances have been more frequent and extra bothersome.   I have been wrought with worry about more than usual.   I haven’t been making incremental progress towards my goals, and I have been “sweating the small stuff.”

I’m just feeling “jumbled.”

I attributed it to the beginning of the school year. I assumed that the change of schedule  for me and my daughters was throwing me off a bit.

Then, when scrolling through Facebook, I saw it.   I literally said “oh no” out loud.  Mercury was in retrograde!

distraught

This is what I looked like when I found out Mercury was in retrograde again.

 

What is Retrograde?

mercury1Mercury retrograde occurs three or four times a year.   It occurs when Mercury “speeds” past Earth and “appears” to be moving backwards, although it really isn’t moving backwards.

As a result of this planetary movement, we can feel the impact of this retrograde period on earth.

 

 

How are we Impacted during Mercury Retrograde?

According to astrological and planetary experts, Mercury rules your intelligence and communication (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/larry-schwimmer/top-10-things-not-to-do-d_b_4133136.html).   As a result, it is possible that tasks involving clear thinking and open communication my be more challenging than normal. In addition, it can also impact negatively transportation, possibly making transportation more troublesome than normal.

As a result, people who are sensitive to Mercury retrograde may find themselves misspeaking, disagreeing, or experiencing equipment failures.   In fact, experts say that, if you are sensitive to Mercury in retrograde, you should avoid making agreements, along with avoiding commencing new commitments or projects.    (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/larry-schwimmer/top-10-things-not-to-do-d_b_4133136.html)

mercury-must-have-been-in-retrograde-im-sorry

Virgos are Sensitive Souls.

I also ALWAYS feel the impact of Mercury retrograde in my life.    In fact, even when I don’t officially know when Mercury is in retrograde, that I ALWAYS sense that something is misaligned.

But why?

Well,I am a Virgo. And, come to find out, Mercury in retrograde often has an exaggerated impact on Virgos UNLESS Mercury was in retrograde when you were born.  (I wasn’t surprised to learn the Mercury was NOT in retrograde when I was born since I feel such an impact on Mercury in retrograde.)

As a Virgo, I naturally analyze and overthink.    I also have difficulty communicating and articulating my emotions.

Therefore, when a Virgo like me experiences “disruptions” in communication and transportation during Mercury Retrograde, we can become obsessively analytical or experience painfully struggles with communication during Mercury retrograde if we don’t carefully pay attention to our actions and reactions.

 

So what should we do?

Some people want to run and hide during Mercury retrograde.

However,  Mercury retrograde happens three to four times per year for approximately three and a half weeks each time.  Therefore, is it really realistic to put everything on hold for almost 25% of the year?

For me, it isn’t.

I have things to accomplish.

I don’t want to put taking conscious actions to achieve my goals on hold for almost a quarter of the year.

So what can be done?

 

What Can You Do When it Feels like the Universe is Literally Against You?

Although Mercury Retrograde is often viewed as an unwelcome disruption, some activities are actually most conducive during Mercury Retrograde.   For instance, the confusion that Mercury Retrograde presents often provides an opportunity to reflect and reorganize.

 woman-1030920_1280

I needed a strong intervention.

With Mercury in retrograde, I realized that I needed to get back on track; I needed something that would help me reorganize and reflect.

I needed something that could reset and reinvigorate me.   I needed to become better aligned.

So I stopped listening to my current book and podcasts and re-downloaded one of my favorite books, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.

Operating in Your Zone of Genius

The Big Leap is one of those books that reminds you how important it is to live in alignment. In his book Hendricks, who is an experienced leader in relationship transformation and body-mind therapies, explains that we all have a unique set of talents.   He goes on to explain that when we live in alignment, operating in our zone of genius, we live the most fulfilled and well-aligned life.

On the other hand, Hendricks states that living out of alignment with your unique gifts can cause unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and misalignment in our lives.

When we are out of alignment, Henricks believes that we are operating in our zone of incompetence, our zone of competence, or even our zone of excellence.   In other words, we shouldn’t be focusing our energy on doing things that we are not good at, or only okay at doing.   In fact, we shouldn’t even be focusing our energy on things that we are pretty good at doing; instead, we should be doing things that no one else can do well or as easily as we can.  (Granted, you may not be the ONLY person who is a genius at this specific task or skill.  However, the way that you actually execute your skills and passions for your craft in your zone of genius should be fairly unique.)

Lesson Learned

Hearing the content in Hendricks book again reminded me that alignment generally produces more order and tranquility.  Similarly, misalignment generally produces more chaos and frustration.

I needed to be reminded of the importance of avoiding acting in my zone of incompetence.   Instead, I need to act in my zone of genius.   After all, when you are operating in your zone of genius, the work comes more easily and leaves you more satisfied.  You are also more likely to be able to take action towards achieving the goals that are most important to you.

Most importantly, I need to remember that I need to stay aligned to my zone of genius so that I am focused and aligned.  This way, Mercury moving backwards doesn’t have to continue set me back.   I can use Mercury retrograde as an opportunity to reflect and reaffirm what is most important, while also ensuring that I stay focused on my goals and in my zone of genius.

The Morale

This week reminded me that we all go off our course.  But, in fact, we all have the capability to get ourselves back on track.

We simply need to have a collection of resources that can help us to realign when we feel like we are starting to travel “backwards.”

For me, the favorite resources to get me on track was a favorite book and a great business coach.  Both resources reminded me that I needed to create space and time before trying to get myself back on a forward moving path.   

Inevitably, I will get “out of sorts” again.  We are human and respond to the ebb and flow of life, including the pull of the planets and universe as a whole.

However, rather than letting the current of life carry me down a path that I don’t want to travel on, I will use the resources available to me to reflect and reaffirm my goals until I can get back on track.     I will also remind myself  that God gave us all a unique purpose, and that when we align to that purpose, our God-given genius has the opportunity to shines.

mercury retrograde 2017

 

 

Morning Routine + Goal Attainment

Morning and Goals

I frequently listen to Jon Lee Dumas’ Entrepreneur on Fire podcast.

In his podcast, Dumas interviews successful entrepreneurs.   During the episodes, Dumas generally asks the entrepreneurs that he interviews the same questions.  For instance, Dumas will often ask entrepreneurs what book they would recommend as “life changing.”

When naming the most influential book they have read, many of Dumas’ guests list “classic” entrepreneurial books.  Books like Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, Tim Ferris’ 4 Hour Week, etc. are often mentioned.

However, other times, guests recommend more obscure book.

If their descriptions of the books resonate with me, I often download the book.  Other times, the suggestions don’t resonate, and I ignore the suggestions.

One book that did NOT first piqumorninge my interest was Hank Elrod’s The Miracle Morning.

After all, even though I already wake up by 6AM, I don’t consider myself a “morning person.”  I usually wake up in denial, hitting the snooze on the alarm clock as many times as I can.   How could I ever find the time to squeeze a miracle in my morning?

But,  when I repeatedly heard entrepreneurs describe Elrod’s book as life changing, I decided to download the book.

Elrod’s Miracle Morning Plan

sleepWhen I began the book, I quickly realized that Elrod wholeheartedly believed that following his plan could transform any area of your life.   Admittedly, he also had a compelling personal story of using his plan to overcome adversity and achieve the life you want to have.

However, towards the beginning of the book, Elrod used an example of a one hour morning miracle routine.

I almost stopped listening.

I thought about how I would love to make progress towards achieving all of my goals.

BUT I ALSO THOUGHT THAT I AM NOT WAKING UP BEFORE FIVE AM!

 

Hanging in There

Luckily, I din’t turn off the audio book.

Instead, I continued to listen….

And I learned there was an alternative to waking up at five AM.

In fact, Elrod said that I could experience the benefits of the Miracle Morning in as little as six minutes a day!

 

Can as Little as Six Minutes in the AM Make a Difference?

When I learned that many enthusiastic participants experience many of the same benefits, in only six minutes a day, I started listening carefully.

I knew that I could devote six minutes on this plan.

So I began “testing” the plan on Monday, August 22nd.

Following Elrod’s recipe for a miracle morning, I completed one minute each of:

  • silence (Sometimes, I use the free meditation app.)
  • affirmations
  • visualizations (Thank you vision board!)
  • journaling  (I used the weekly planner template that I made.)
  • inspirational reading (I started with part of Elrod’s book.)
  • exercise (Jumping jacks were my choice.)

exercise

Does the Morning Miracle work?

The first day that I completed the first day, I felt more alert.

However, being naturally skeptical, I thought that my observations may have been psychosomatic.

So I kept practicing the six exercises each day, for only six minutes a day.

Now, almost two weeks after starting the Miracle Morning routine, I can admit that I do feel as though I have moved closer to achieving some of my goals.

So is this a coincidence?

Maybe.  Or maybe not.

Clearly, to determine if the exercises are effective, I would need to study the results of a sample size larger than me.

However, my “gut” and my anecdotal evidence so far indicates that, Dumas’ guests could be right.  Elrod’s Miracle Morning could be a game changer.   In fact, I plan to continue his suggestions each day for the foreseeable future.

Why is this Morning Regime Effective?

Clearly, starting everyday on a positive note can help to create a positive foundation for your day.

Additionally, this routine can give you the opportunity to approach your goals in a multi-faceted approach.

For instance:

  • Practicing silence creates a quiet space in your mind that gives you the space to resolve an important problem or situation.  (You could meditate during this time.  If you want to use a ready made meditation, read about a free meditation app.)
  • Declaring affirmations help you assert your intention for what you desire.   (After all, research shows that positive thoughts and emotions can impact the plasticity of your brain and actually rewire your brain.  In other words, thinking differently can create actually create different results!)
  •  Visualizing what is possible also enables you to impact the neuroplasticity of your brain and actually “rejournalwire your brain” so that subconsciously or consciously, you are more likely to align your actions towards meeting your goals.
  • Journaling what you are grateful for is also a great way to start your day.   Declaring your blessings can get you out of your own personal “pity party” and obliterate boring excuses because it usually reinforces gratitude via a long list of reasons to be thankful.  (As a side note, I used my printable calendar to write what I was thankful for having.  It worked out great!)
  • Reading inspirational also helps adjust your mindset in a positive manner.  After all, isn’t it more inspiring to hear someone tell you that you can accomplish your goals than waking up with negative self-talk regarding your wake up time or daily agenda?
  • Exercising is necessary for a healthy heart and mind. Starting the day with exercise is guaranteed to get your heart and brain pumping.

All in all, Elrod does a nice job of creating a convincing case as to why you should start out the morning with these specific activities.

I recommend that you purchase and read his book to get a full snapshot of his rationale, and then give his idea a try to see what happens for you.  (PS.   If you try this, please post your comments on our Facebook page.   I’d love to hear what you think about it!)

Is Fear of Being Disliked Stopping You From Achieving your Goals?

Let’s face it.  No one wants to be disliked; we all want to be liked.

Research shows that well liked people are better adjusted throughout life (Wortman & Wood, 2011).   The extent to which someone is liked has also been shown to impact mental health, well-being, and academic performance (Coie & Cillessen, 1993).

Most of us believe that “being liked” is preferable to being disliked.

After all, “being liked” is easier than being disliked.   You don’t have to deal with conflict.   You don’t have to deal with feelings of inadequacy.

 

Of course, no one tries to be disliked.

smallRegardless of what you do and/or say, everyone will not like you;  sometimes, you are going to have “haters.”

These “haters,” or people who dislike you, may misunderstand your words and/or actions.  They may be secretly jealous of what you have or who you are.   Or, they may simply not like you for some unidentifiable or unjustifiable reason.

Sometimes, your actions (intentional or unintentional) may have caused someone dislike you.  Maybe you inadvertently said something that they “took the wrong way.”  Maybe you got the job that they wanted.   Or, maybe you have the partner that they desired.

Other times, you haven’t intentionally done ANYTHING to make them dislike you.  In fact, maybe you didn’t do anything at all.   They simply don’t like you because you have the wrong color skin, perfect hair, a perfect singing voice, a sparkling personality, a big (or small) butt, or a beautifully manicured lawn.   In essence, there may not be a sound reason for someone to dislike you.

Sometimes, they only dislike you because being critical of you only makes them feel superior.

 

Another reality is that WE HAVE ALL EXPERIENCED THE HATERS.

Humanitarians have haters.  Philanthropists have haters.   Even choir boys and saints have haters.

In other words, we ALL have had someone else do or say something that made us feel badly at one time or more.

For instance, it is hard to believe that leaders like Gandi, saints Mother Theresa had haters, or philanthropists like Oprah have had haters.

But they have.

And, like or or not, it is likely that you do too.

 

How to Deal with Haters

In the New York Times, Carl Richard gives four suggestions for dealing with the haters.   Richards states that you can choose to ignore it, analyze it, shake it off, or deal with it.

Of course, like all options in life, there are pros and cons to all of the choices.

Analysis, for instance, is one of those steps that can be a positive or negative experience.   Analysis is positive when it helps you to view the situation from a better viewpoint. If analysis helps you to realize that you did something offensive, that you can correct, it is a positive.   BUT if analysis causes you to over examine the situation and feel badly, because you know that your actions didn’t cause their dislike, analysis can be a negative choice.

Ignoring the dislike is a positive choice when you know that you didn’t cause it AND are unlikely to change the dislike.  Similarly, shaking it off is sometimes a viable option for reasons similar to ignoring it.

 

Let it Go

If you decide ignoring or shaking off the dislike is the best decision, you must truly be able to let it go.

You can't see the hate with love glasses on!

You can’t see the hate with love glasses on!

Don’t let it rent space in your head.  

You have better things to focus on.    

For some situations, this involves dealing with the dislike.   How you deal with it, of course, is your decision.   You may decide that it is best to confront the hater.   You may decide that it is best to have a cleansing ritual to let it go.  (I recently attended a retreat where this was done.   It can be very powerful.)   In cases where you recognize that your behavior was not ideal and that you may have caused the dislike, you may decide to change your own behaviors.

However, Richards explains that the BEST option for dealing with haters is the option that makes you move forward.

In other words, don’t let the hate keep you stuck.

You need to focus your energy on the purpose that you are uniquely here to fulfill.  

DO NOT let the haters bring you down.    

 

Is wanting to be liked preventing you from pursuing your goals?

We all WANT to be liked and accepted.

But unfortunately, some of use want it so badly that we are guilty of letting that DESIRE control our actions, and let our fear of being rejected CONTROL US.    

So we…

  • Let it influence our decisions.    
  • follow your heartAvoid following our heart.
  • Live someone else’s life instead of listening to our own inner voice.
  • Fail to pursue the goals that we have because we are afraid to deal with the rejection of others.  

When you avoid pursing your goals because of the haters, you are giving your control to others.   You are also failing to fulfill your divine purpose, the act that only you can uniquely do.

And when you fail to fulfill your divine purpose, you are cheating the world from your unique gifts.

Don’t fear pursuing your goals.   Set your goals and take mindful, actionable steps to achieve them.

______________________________

Coie, J. D., & Cillessen, A. H. (1993). Peer rejection: Origins and effects on children’s development. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2(3), 89-92.

Wortman, J., & Wood, D. (2011). The personality traits of liked people.Journal of Research in Personality, 45(6), 519-528.

Adopt the Olympian Mindset and Think Your Way to Better Results

The 2016 summer Olympics began last Friday, August 5th.

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Admittedly, I am a casual fan of the Olympics and do not watch it in a committed manner.   However, all of the Olympic conversation and coverage have had me thinking a lot about the Olympics.  Specifically, I have been reflecting on the mindset of an Olympian.   I came up with the following insights.

1)  Olympians persevere, even in difficult circumstances.

One night, before the Olympics even began, my nine-year old daughter called my attention to a story that was aired on network television while we were out to dinner.  She said “Mommy, look at all of the trash in the water.”

I wasn’t facing the TV so I had no idea what she was talking about.    After all, we weren’t in a waterfront restaurant, and I didn’t see any water.

But when she  motioned to the TV behind me, I turned around.  I saw a picture of a body of water full of trash.   I was stunned to see a news headline that said that the Olympians were being warned to swim with their mouths closed because the pollution levels of the water in Brazil were dangerously high.

Thinking about Olympians swimming in the water was troubling to me.  In fact, it was so troubling that I spent some time reflecting on the poor conditions of the water for the next few days.

Even though I am not a competitive swimmer, I know that it is nearly impossible to swim without ever swallowing any water.   I asked…So how could swimmers be expected to keep their head above water and refrain from swallowing water?

But why?

Then, bigger questions emerged.  For instance, why wouldn’t our “evolved” societies send these hard working athletes to a better location?  Can’t we do better than this?  More importantly, shouldn’t we do better than this?

After all, Olympians often work LONG and HARD for the opportunity to compete in the the games.   They have a worldwide audience.   Didn’t we owe them better than sending them to sewage polluted waters to swim and/or row?

Ethical questions aside, I must admit that all that I could think when I saw the water was….”If I was an Olympics swimmer for this Olympics, I don’t know if I would be willing to deal with those circumstances to compete.”

Clearly, I don’t have the mindset of an Olympian.

Summer 2016 olympicsThe Olympians have an admirable mindset which makes them persevere, even in these clearly less than ideal unhygenic situations.  Instead of giving up, they are taking action; some are taking antibiotics, and others are wearing special anti-microbial suits.  They are doing it!

They are not giving up on their goals;  instead, they are teaching us about the importance of taking inspiredaction, even when the circumstances are DIFFICULT.

2)  Olympians Teach Us that the Impossible is Often Possible

We have all referred to a difficult task as IMPOSSIBLE.

But, was the task REALLY impossible, or did you simply tell yourself that it was impossible?

The mind is a powerful tool.  Sometimes, what we accomplish (or don’t accomplish) is determined in our minds, by our thoughts.

Research shows that mindset matters.  In fact, mindset has actually been shown to have the capacity to change our abilities!   An article published in Scientific American showed that a person’s positive thoughts could possibly improve their vision, impact their weight loss, impact their well-being, etc.  Wow!  Our mind is an amazingly powerful tool!

Likewise, limiting thoughts about what you are able to do, can limit what you actually accomplish.  So believe it, to help you achieve it!

Consider the impact of the mindset of an Olympian.

Most Olympians don’t include the word impossible in their vocabulary.

Jim Hines

Olympic medals

For instance, Olympians like Jim Hines didn’t have a limiting mindset when he competed in the 100m sprint in the 1968 Olympics.

He didn’t listen to anyone who said that it was IMPOSSIBLE to run the 100m sprint in under 10 seconds because it hadn’t ever been done since the Olympics started in 1896.

Instead, Hines believed he could and broke the record when he ran the 100m sprint in 9.95 seconds in 1968!

By breaking this record, Hines made the IMPOSSIBLE, POSSIBLE.

Plus, Hines did much more than break a record; he changed the mindset of many other runners who had believed that a time under 10 seconds was impossible.  He changed the mindset of the world.

How?  Thanks to Hines’ record breaking performance, MORE people were able to run the 100m spring in under 10 seconds because THEY NOW BELIEVED THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE.  Runners

Today, other people continue to use mindset to challenge the “impossible.”  In fact, Hines isn’t even in the top ten record holders anymore.  (The current record goes to Usain Bold with a time of 9.58 seconds.)

It seems that when others knew it was possible, they were able to SET and ACHIEVE a new goal.

 

So, would you adopt the mindset of an Olympian?

Let’s face it; most of the time, we are not even trying to accomplish a goal of Olympian proportion.

In fact, most of the time, we are not even trying to achieve something that has never been done.  Instead, we are trying to achieve something that many others before us have done; we are trying to lose 10 pounds, write a book, find a desirable mate, land a dream job, etc.

We are trying to complete a goal that CAN BE DONE.  Others have done it.   You can too.

But, if our mindset is poor, we may as well be trying to set a new world record because IF WE TELL OURSELVES (consciously or unconsciously) THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE, it is likely that we will never reach our goal.   

Instead of believing that it is impossible, change your mindset and believe it IS POSSIBLE.

Visualize what it looks like when you have done it.

Retrain brainRewire your brain, and change your thinking.

If you change the way that you think and you are more likely to get different results.

Remember, mindset is a HUGE contributor in achievement.

So, if you keep the same mindset that you have always had, and you are likely to get the same results that you have always had.

If you change your thoughts, you can make this happen for you too.

Don’t wait for someone like Jim Hines to show you that it can be done.   Change your own mindset;  try believing that the “impossible” is possible and you may achieve a new goal.

 

Tackling Your “Impossible” Challenge

Strong mindsetIf no one accepted an impossible challenge, would we have cars? electricity? Would a man have walked on the moon?  Would an MGH surgeon have successfully attached a severed hand that works? (Amazing stuff, huh?)

Chances are, the answers are NO.

So don’t maintain an attitude of can’t.  Stretch your wings, and tell yourself that you can fly (or run, write, speak, get fit, etc.)

 

Do you agree, but don’t know where to start?

The second law of thermodymanics says, as usable energy is lost, disorganization, randomness and chaos increase (http://www.allaboutscience.org/second-law-of-thermodynamics.htm).  In other words, left to your own devices, you and your energy may shift towards chaos instead of order.

If you need assistance, I can help.

Starting September 6th, 2016, I will be conducting a FREE 30 DAYS Goal Challenge.

If you want help to accomplish ONE goal, sign up for my FREE challenge today.

 

 

 

5 Ways Sleep (or lack of sleep) Can Impact Goal Attainment

Do you get enough sleep? Is the sleep that you get good quality?

Stockholm

Quality versus Quantity

When considering the amount of time that you spend sleeping, you have to consider both the QUALITY and QUANTITY.

The QUANTITY of the time that you spend sleeping is pretty self-explanatory; it refers to how many hours you actually spend sleeping.   The National Sleep Foundation suggests that the average adult get seven to nine hours of “shut eye.”   On the other hand, the average teenager has a higher recommendation, at eight to 10 hours.   Seniors need a little less, with a recommended quantity of seven to eight hours spent sleeping.

STREPchanges_1

The QUALITY of the time that you spend sleeping pertains to the caliber of the “shut eye” that you are experiencing.   The QUALITY of our sleeping hours is just as, or maybe even more important, than the QUANTITY of the time that we spend sleeping because low quality, interrupted sleep doesn’t provide sufficient benefits.  

Quality of sleep can be impacted by many factors, some of which you can control and some that you can’t control.   For instance, interruptions such as a barking dog, police siren, or child may wake you in the middle of the night and disrupt your slumber.

High quality, uninterrupted time asleep is the most beneficial.

 

Lack of sleep can have IMPORTANT consequences.   Some of the FIVE most noteworthy effects are…

Insufficient sleep

1.  Impact on Weight Loss

An article published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal (Chaput & Tremblay, 2012) and by the National Institute for Health (Knutson, 2012) found that insufficient time asleep can stimulate the brain’s desire for food.   As a result, a tired person may desire more food than a person who has spent an adequate time sleeping.  

2.  Impact on Learning Capacity

Other studies, published in the Sleep Medicine Reviews Journal (Curcio, Ferrara, & De Gennaro, 2006) found that both inadequate quality and quantity of sleep can impact both learning capacity and academic performance. Their studies showed that poor outcomes occurred in students who had disconnected rest, later bedtimes, and earlier wake-ups.  Specifically, these students had poor academic performance and decreased neurological functioning.

Another study (Arzi, et al, 2012) published in Nature Neuroscience even found we may actually be able to learn new information while asleep.

3.  Impact on Motor Skills

A study published in the Journal of SleepMedicine showed that sleeping helps a person learn a new fine-motor skill or perform better at a previously learned motor skill.

4.  Impact on Memory

Adequate sleep has been shown to contribute to the plasticity of the brain (Marquet, 2001).  As a result, a person who spends sufficient time sleeping can benefit from improved memory retention.  For instance, one study conducted by the Harvard Medical School showed sleeping is vital for memory. In fact, it showed that sleep may actually strengthen your memory.

5.  Impact on Creativity

A study published in the Journal of Sleep Research found that participants with adequate sleep were more creative and even better able to select their most creative idea.

 

Sean Stephenson and Sleep

Sometimes, the QUALITY of our slumber is interrupted because of our own habits and behaviors.

Shawn Stephenson, author of the book Sleep Smarter: 21 Proven Tips to Sleep Your Way to a Better Body, Better Health and Bigger Success and host of the highly acclaimed Model Health Show Podcast, identified many self-inflicted causes of low quality sleeping in his book.   They include:

  • Having caffeine late in the day
  • Staying up too late
  • Sleeping in a room that is the incorrect temperature
  • Sleeping in a lit, or partially lit, room
  • Consuming alcohol before bed
  • Watching the screen at night

I highly recommend reading Stephenson’s book  if you are interested.   It is a short, yet informative, read.

 

Blue light?  What’s the big deal?

Personablue lightlly, I found Stephenson’s discussion on the negative impact blue light has on sleep fascinating.   In his book, he explains that the blue light emitted by our electronic devices triggers our bodies to produce more daytime hormones (like cortisol).  He also points out that this blue light disrupts our body’s natural preparation for sleeping.

Ideally, we should avoid exposure to the blue light about an hour before bed time.   In addition, we should try to keep electronics out of the bedroom entirely since their existence can have an impact even if you think that they don’t.  (Stephenson suggests going back to an old-fashioned alarm clock or an alarm clock with red light.)

alarm clockHowever, there are technologies available to reduce the negative impact of blue light if you insist on using the devices until you are ready to go to sleep, or still want to use your phone as your alarm clock,   They include:

 

Inadequate Sleep Can Prevent You from Achieving many of Your Goals

Whatever your goal, sleep have IMPORTANT consequences that can impact your achieving your goals.   After all, insufficient time asleep has been shown to negatively impact weight loss, learning, motor skills, memory, and creativity.

In other words, GET ADEQUATE SLEEP if you want to meet your goal.  It can directly or indirectly help you to:

  • lose weight
  • go back to school or finish school
  • start a business
  • improve your relationship
  • find a job that you love
  • improve your health
  • etc..

______________

Arzi, A., Shedlesky, L., Ben-Shaul, M., Nasser, K., Oksenberg, A., Hairston, I. S., & Sobel, N. (2012). Humans can learn new information during sleep.Nature neuroscience, 15(10), 1460-1465.

Chaput, J. P., & Tremblay, A. (2012). Adequate sleep to improve the treatment of obesity. Canadian Medical Association Journal, 184(18), 1975-1976.

Curcio, G., Ferrara, M., & De Gennaro, L. (2006). Sleep loss, learning capacity and academic performance. Sleep medicine reviews, 10(5), 323-337.

Knutson, K. L. (2012). Does inadequate sleep play a role in vulnerability to obesity?. American Journal of Human Biology, 24(3), 361-371.

Laureys, S., Peigneux, P., Perrin, F., & Maquet, P. (2002). Sleep and motor skill learning. Neuron, 35(1), 5-7.

 

 

How Can Practicing Yoga Help You Meet Your Personal and Professional Goals?

Practicing yoga actually CAN help you to meet your personal and professional goals.

 

By taking the principles of yoga and off the mat and applying them in your daily life, you can practice strategies that will help you in both setting and attaining your goals.

 

When most people think about yoga, they think about the physical poses.    

IMG_8309 eda

Seated Yoga Pose

As a long time yoga teacher, I have repeatedly had people ask me if I can do the pose where you “look like a pretzel,” or if I can stand on my head.   I let them know that, after more than 15 years of practicing and teaching yoga, I have not yet mastered “sitting like a pretzel” but can indeed stand on my head.   However, I quickly follow-up my answer.  I let them know that “doing yoga” is much more than mastering the poses; yoga has many benefits for your mind and body.  (In fact, the meaning of the word yoga means union, because it helps you to unite the mind, body, and spirit.)   

Granted, most people who have attended a yoga class know that a consistent yoga practice can provide you will strength and flexibility.  However, many people still aren’t aware that the benefits of a consistent yoga practice go well beyond the physical benefits of the asanas (physical poses).    

In fact, asana (the physical poses) is just ONE of the eight components, or limbs, of hatha yoga. The other seven have more focus on the mind and spirit than the physical body.     

 

The Yoga Sutras

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali is a classic text that is almost universally considered the authoritative guide on yoga.   It explains yogic principles and provides guidance on dealing with situations in daily life through yoga philosophy.   Essentially, the text is meant to help students master the mind to achieve physical, mental, and emotional harmony.       

I have used some of my favorite  concepts from Yoga Sutras when working to both set goals and achieve the goals that I have set.  Specifically, I have found the principles of Abhyasa (practice) and Vairagya (non-attachment) to be practical and life-changing in my daily life.    

 

What are Abhyasa and Vairagya, and how do do they apply to setting and attaining my goals?

Abhyasa and Vairagya are so noteworthy because they can be directly applied to applied to daily life through the processes of setting and attaining goals.

Abhyasa reminds us to apply persistent effort in all our actions while Vairagya reminds us to let go of attachments.    Combined, the two concepts create a message that reminds us all to try our hardest while not being tied to the results.     

The Bhagavad Gita says__Perform action, O Arjuna, being steadfast in Yoga, abandoning attachment and balanced in success and failure! Evenness of mind is called Yoga._

Gita quote

For instance, in yoga, we should persistently practice poses that are challenging to us.  However, we should not measure our value or worth based on the result!  That is, we do not “suck” if we cannot hold the perfect inversion or arm balance.  Likewise, we are not a supreme being if we can hold the perfect inversion or arm balance.    In fact, the real benefits come from the process; a steady, focused mind, will produce more benefits, similar to the ones mentioned at the beginning of this article.   

 

How can Abhyasa and Vairagya specifically help me reach my goals off of the mat?

Again, Abhyasa teaches us that the value of persistent effort is the most valuable, while Vairagya teaches us we shouldn’t be attached to the outcomes.

As we learn to truly apply these two principles, we learn that while it is important to set goals that are going to stretch our comfort zone and move us towards self-realization, we are not failures if we fail to meet our goals on the timetable or under the exact conditions that we originally set;  we will still learn valuable lessons and grow the core of our being without necessarily experiencing full attainment of the goal.  

 

In Conclusion:

Untitled design(2)

Advice on Goals

 

ACTION STEP:  

Set a goal that, while stretching you out of your comfort zone, has the potential to make your life better.   After all, if the experience is the most important learning tool, then giving our best while being untied to the results will benefit us because the non-attachment to the results will show us that we can continue to grow and learn by keeping our mind on the process rather than the results.  Feel free to post your actions, or any questions that you have, on Jennifer’s Facebook Page.

 

SIDE BAR:  

Did you know that Jennifer is currently blogging about helping people to meet their goals and be more productive?   If you find these topics interesting, or know someone who does, please encourage them to like her Facebook page or subscribe to her blog at JenniferFleury.com    She is offering a lot of free information through the blog, along with customized courses and services for those who need more help applying the information.   

BTW,I created a completely free, printable weekly planner for the remainder of 2016 that you can download. If you like affirmations and want to write the action steps for your goals in a weekly planner, then download it now  (I couldn’t find one that I liked, so I made one myself!.)  You can print this planner from your home printer and use it to help you get organized and set goals.   I included a motivational quote and image from my favorite motivational gurus to help keep you motivated.    🙂

What Gets Scheduled, Gets Done! 4 Tips to Make the Most of Your Time

Do you have trouble finding time to get everything done?

Time is a valuable commodity and if you are like me, you never seems to have enough time.  I feel like I am in a constant “go, go, go” mode trying to accomplish a never-ending to do list.

Let’s face it, most of us are very busy.   I am sure that you agree that there aren’t enough hours in the day.

So we must make the most of the hours that we have.    We need to schedule tasks that are important to us and bring us closer to our goals.

Of course, everything can’t be scheduled; there are some things that you can’t control.

But, having a template for how you want to spend your time can be helpful;   you will be more likely to spend your time doing tasks that move you towards achieving your goals.  You will be proactive, not reactive.

Steward your shipIf you don’t design a plan, or a schedule, you will end up letting something or someone else steward your ship.

Do you want to control your your course, or do you want to allow circumstances, or someone else. to determine how you spend your time?

 

Find a way to schedule what is important.

I don’t know about you, but I have concluded that I CANNOT DO IT ALL.

OrganizerI have to be mindful of what I am doing with my time.    I prioritize what is important, and I schedule the tasks and activities that are a priority.  This way, they get done.

One action step that I took was to create what my typical week should look like.  I needed to SEE it so that I could decide if my schedule was moving me towards, or away, from my goals.

I created and completed a weekly calendar template to see if my time was being spent wisely. Then, I blocked off time for the tasks that I am required to do and want to do.

Although I couldn’t put EVERYTHING that I do in on my calendar, I did create a fairly typical week.

If you think that it would benefit you to map out your week into time blocks, feel free to access the FREE weekly calendar that I created.   It includes a blank template, along with a sample weekly calendar.  Tips to format the calendar to match your needs are also include on the sample template tab.   (Please note that the calendar that I have shared is read-only.   To have a copy that is unique to you, you can simply choose File, Make a copy.)

Once i made my calendar, I did a little analysis of my time.   I saw that while some tasks were in alignment with my goals and other tasks needed to change.   So I removed some tasks that weren’t serving me, and replaced them with tasks that would better utilize my time to meet my goals.

I have practiced this exercise with clients and have the following advice for you when you fill in your calendar:

 

1.

Schedule people, not just “things.”

Family

Scheduling time with my daughters is a priority.

 

  • Do you feel like you spend enough “quality time” with friends and family?
  • When is the last time that you went on a date night with your partner?
  • Have you been able to spend “distraction free” time with your children?
  • When is the last time that you got together with your BFF or favorite cousin?
  • Do you have fiends and family members that you haven’t seen in awhile (aka too long for you to remember)?

If the answer to ANY of the above questions doesn’t align with your goals, then make a change.   Decide, today, to schedule time to spend time with those you love.

Life is short, and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.   If it is important to you, do it now!

 

2.

Schedule time for yourself.

Self care is important.  If you don’t take care of yourself first, it is unlikely that you will be able to take care of others well.

Make sure that you schedule time for the things that are important to your physical and mental well-being.  

Schedule time for yourself. You are worth it.For instance,

  • .A weekly yoga class could decrease your stress and helps alleviate back pain.
  • A trip to your favorite park could let you reflect on where you are and where you want to go.
  • A run or walk outside might give you an opportunity to be mindful, while also giving you an opportunity to get some exercise into your schedule.
  • Reading a book on the hammock can give you the quiet time and knowledge that you need.

Whatever your method of taking care of yourself, you MUST schedule time to take care of yourself if you want to be the BEST YOU you can be for those who you love.

 

3.

Remember that YOUR TIME IS SACRED when making your schedule.

Let’s go back to an absolute truth.  Time is a limited commodity.   Regardless of how hard you try to manufacture more time, we are all limited to 24 hours in each and every day.

We are all here for a limited tiRemember, saying yes to something means saying no to something else.Your time is sacred; choose your YESES carefully.me.   YOU CANNOT DO IT ALL.  YOU MUST PRIORITIZE WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU.

When someone asks for some of your time, you should think long and hard before saying yes.   If you are going to give your time to someone or something, you should be sure that it aligns with your goals.

After all, saying YES to something means saying NO to something else.  

In other words, saying yes to someone or something means that you have given that amount of time to that person or thing.  CHOOSE YOUR YESES CAREFULLY;  time can’t be taken back once it is given.

 

4.

Don’t create a rigid schedule.

A scheduling tool, like the FREE calendar that I made, is a valuable tool that will benefit those who use it.

However, creating too rigid of a schedule is not beneficial.

If you create a rigid schedule, you will miss out on valuable opportunities that present themselves.

 

You never know when life will present you with an opportunity to partake in a task that will bring you closer to attaining one of your goals.   If you keep your schedule somewhat fluid, when you get an offer to do something else, you are able to make space for it in your schedule.

Mindset doesn’t matter…Or does it? 5 Ways to Be more Positive and Why it Matters.

Do you ever wonder…

Why does positive thinking matter?
Can my mindset, positive or negative, impact achieving my goals?
Can I become more positive?

Yes, mindset is maleable!

My Interest in Positive Thinking…How it All Began

Believe it or not, my interest in goals and affirmations began when I was in middle school.    Even then, I was always drawn to books on mindset.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

My grandmother’s collection of Norman Vincent Peale books and pamphlets created a small obsession with Peale’s message on the power of positive thinking.  Even now, I clearly remember pulling down the attic steps, climbing up into the attic, and reading some of the pamphlets that she kept upstairs.  (The attic was always a place of solitude and discovery for me; that is, until we found a bat in the attic…but that is another story for another time!)

“How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself-so always think positively.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

While I am sure that many of you reading this have never heard of Norman Vincent Peale, he was quite well known.  A widely popular minister, Peale also authored 46 books.   He is most well-known for his book, The Power of Positive Thinking, which sold over seven million copies.  Even though Peale died in 1993, well before our cultural obsession with Amazon began, this bestselling book currently rates 4.5 (out of 5 possible) stars and has just under 1000 reviews of the book .

mindset quote

Peale’s message always emphasized the importance of overcoming self-doubt and believing in yourself.   He preached climbing above problems by visualizing solutions on attaining your goals.

Some of my favorite of Peale’s quotes, can be found in the quotes throughout this post.      (Feel free to print them and place them in locations where you will see them.  I like to place them in books, in drawers, on mirrors, in my wallet, etc.)“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

Research on the Power of Positive Thinking

Of course, everyone didn’t agree with Peale; they thought that positive thinking did have meaningful impact.

However, research has shown that positive thinking really can have an impact.  

For instance, Scheier and Carver’s (2013) research, cited several studies that showed that “optimists routinely maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic.”   They also cited research showing that optimism has also been shown to benefit physical well-being.   But WHY? Scheier and Carver (1993) found that optimists:

  • Cope with stress in more adaptive ways than pessimists
  • Are more likely to take direct action to solve their problems than pessimists
  • Have more focus when dealing with adversity than pessimists
  • Are more likely to rely on active coping techniques in dealing with stress than pessimists
  • Are less likely to avoid dealing with stressful situations than pessimists 

Of course, there is also the work of Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto on the impact of the positive thoughts and words on water.   What the Bleep Do We Know even featured Emoto’s work, which involved separating water into 100 petri dishes, each of which was frozen and then either praised or scolded.   Later, Emoto looked at the images under a microscope and discovered that the frozen water that was exposed to negative thoughts and words lacked symmetry and beauty.  In comparison, the water that was exposed to positive thoughts rearranged into beautiful crystalline structures.  (Disclaimer:  While Emoto’s The Hidden Messages in Water was a New York Times best seller, his work is often criticized for his lack of experimental controls when conducting his research, calling the validity of the results into question by some experts.)

So how do I Change my Thoughts and Become a More Positive Thinker?

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” ~Oprah Winfrey Luckily, there are many resources to help you become more positive.    Experts such as Jack Canfield (of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame), Zig Ziglar (Although deceased, he is still revered.), Brian Tracy (motivational author and speaker), Oprah, Rhonda Bryne (author of The Secret), Wayne Dyer (another deceased but well-respected leader), etc. have books that can help you master your mindset.

There are also several simple ways to begin to limit negativity, and increase positive thinking.   Five ways to increase positivity include:

  • Meditation.

    Meditation helps you get clear.   It will help you to become more focused on what it really important and make you less likely to dwell on what isn’t so important.

1bYou will be more positive if you become more reflective, taking time to be quiet and focused in your own thoughts.  However, if your attempts at meditation only bring thoughts of your favorite snack, try using a guided meditation on positive thinking; it will really help steer you into a positive mindset.   The Insight Timer app, which I discussed in a previous blog post on meditation, has some great options for you to try.

  • Surround yourself with positive people.

““You are the average of the five people you spend your time with”  

I don’t know who the original source of the above statement is, but I know that Jon Lee Dumas of Entrepreneur on Fire uses it near the end of every episode of his podcast.   He says it to remind his listeners that they should constantly surround themselves with people who will inspire them to take action to meet their goals.

If you want to meet your goals, don’t surround yourself with negative people who will put or keep you in a negative mindset.  Instead, surround yourself with positive people who will help elevate your thoughts and inspire you to take positive steps towards achieving your goals.

  • Perform a Random Act of Kindness.

Nothing can change a negative attitude faster than knowing that you did something to help make someone else’s day (or life) better.   Plus, it makes the world a better place to be.

So make it a point to perform a random act of kindness whenever you can; buy a coffee for the stranger behind you in the drive-thru at the coffee shop, make a donation to your favorite charity, do something unexpected to help a loved one, send someone who has made a difference in your life a thank

“Put all excuses aside and remember this; YOU are capable.” ~Zig Ziglar

you card, send a card to someone you love for no reason, etc.

  • Read positive quotes.

There is something to that old adage that states “Seeing is believing.”  Try posting some positive quotes around your home, office, and auto.  Use the ones from this blog, or create your own favorite quote images at a website like Quozio.com; you will start to shift your mindset to a more positive paradigm.

  • Smile.  

Smiling can have a big impact on you; for instance, it can be a predictor of how long you’ll live and can even have a measurable effect on your overall well-being.   Want to learn more?  Watch Ron Gutman’s TED Talk on the Hidden Power of Smiling (below).


_________________________________________________

On the power of positive thinking: The benefits of being optimistic.  Scheier, Michael F.; Carver, Charles S.  Current Directions in Psychological Science, Vol 2(1), Feb 1993, 26-30.  http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/1467-8721.ep10770572

 

5 Tips to Help You Stay Focused

What is your primary goal?

Do you want to finish school?   go back to school?  lose 10 pounds? buy a house?  vacation in the Caribbean?

Regardless of your goal, your pathway to meeting this goal is the same…Set your intention, and take consistent action to move closer to the results that you want.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it?   Then why is it so hard for some of us?  What is preventing your from getting it done?

FOCUS (or often the lack thereof)  

Maintaining focus is key.

Jon Lee Dumas, who produces the widely popular Entrepreneur on Fire podcast constantly tells his audience that to be successful, they must FOCUS…or FOLLOW ONE COURSE UNTIL SUCCESS.

But, in our world full of distractions….hundreds of cable stations, a seemingly infinite amount of websites, and social media platforms….it is easy to have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).

However, lack of focus often results in accomplishing very little of value or, even worse, accomplishing nothing at all.

Below, find tips to help you stay focused on what tasks that bring you closer to spending time on what you value and achieving what desire.

  • Get enough sleep.  This suggestion is “near and dear” to me because I am often guilty of failing to follow this first suggestion.   I get involved in a project once my kids have gone to sleep, when it is quiet, and I am working into the wee hours of the morning.  However, sleep is important.When you are tired, you lack energy and are unable to focus on what you want to accomplish.

Sleep Duration Recommendations

  • Get a calendar and block off time to do activities that align with your goals. Thanks to technology, we have many free calendar options that will allow us to view our schedule at a glance.    For the most part, I meet my needs with the calendar on my iPhone, that auto-updates with my work Outlook calendar. I also know that many people integrate the use of Google Calendar with their smartphone calendar.    

Whatever calendar option you choose, it is important to actually schedule time for actions that align to your goals.   Are you going to go through your house and find unneeded items to sell for money to go towards your dream of visiting the Caribbean this year? Or do you want start a regular exercise practice to better your health and reduce your stress?

Again, whatever your goal is, schedule time in your calendar so that you have a designated time to work on what is important to meeting your goals.

  • Limit your time on social media, watching TV, and mindless internet searching.  Let’s be real. We all love “peeking” into the lives of our friends and loved ones through their social media posts.   It’s great for staying in touch and often extremely entertaining.   But how much time do you spend on sites like Facebook everyday?  Have you ever tracked it?   I did it once along time ago, and I was horrified at the results.   If you added up all of the quick checks that I made, it was sometimes hours spent on Facebook!    Needless to say, I quickly set a daily time limit for visiting Facebook.   Now, I try to limit myself to no more than 15 minutes per day.     

While I don’t have any issues with my self-imposed time limit on social media, I have learned that many people are so tempted that they literally CANNOT STAY OFF!   Luckily, there are tools that help us stay off.   For instance, there is:

  • The StayFocused Chrome Extension that allows you to “lock” yourself out of any website that you want for any amount of time that you want.
Stay Focused Chrome Extension

Stay Focused Chrome Extension

  • Sometimes, we lack focus because we are going in too many directions.  Our world is distracting; Oftentimes hundreds of cable stations, a seemingly infinite amount of websites, and social media platforms are competing with for our attention.   You get distracted, and before you know it, minutes have turned into hours.
  • If you are really distracted by websites and apps, you could even consider a paid program like Freedom, which is more customizable and can be used across all devices.
  • Apps like Forest for your iPhone motivate you to stop constantly checking your phone.  (The app plants a seed, which you can see grow into a tree if you avoid checking your phone.  In fact, if you check it the tree with wither and die.  Then, at the end of the day, Forest will summarize how many minutes you were able to focus during that day.)
  • The FREE Self-Control program (for Macs) that lets you block websites or mail servers for any amount of time that you set.

 

  • Eat well and hydrate.  Sometimes, lack of focus is caused by failing to take care of ourselves. Whether or not we want to admit it, “we are what we eat.”  If we eat low quality foods and fail to drink enough water, we are more likely to have less energy than if we eat more “natural foods” and drink the daily recommended amount of water.
  • Reward yourself for accomplishing mini-goals.   Let’s face it, we all like rewards.  it is why we have so many plastic reward cards and love sales.   Achieving goals is the same way; you need to reward yourself for accomplishing milestones along the way.

For instance, if your goal is writing a book, reward yourself after you finish each chapter.   If you are trying to lose 10 pounds, reward yourself after you lose five.   If you are trying to pay off your credit card, reward yourself after you pay off a predetermined amount.

Of course, you have to ensure that your rewards also align to your goals.   If your goal was to cut expenses and pay off a high interest credit card, it is not advisable for you to go out an make an expensive purchase as a reward since that would be counterproductive.    If your goal was to lose weight, rewarding yourself with a nightly hot fudge sundae is inadvisable because it would most likely negate any progress that you made toward achieving your goal.

But, be creative!   There are many ways to stay focused and motivated towards achieving our goals without ruining your progress.    What about a hot bath?   a favorite cup of coffee or tea?   an evening out with friends or loved ones?   a weekend afternoon snuggled in a blanket watching your favorite movie?    Think about it, and determine what works best for you.

Lack of focus prevents us from living the life that we desire.   When we don’t take care of ourself because we are stressed, tired, or lack energy, we are unable to focus on what we want to accomplish.   As a result, nothing much gets done.  Don’t let that happen; use one of the action steps above to get focused and get results!